Ever since Amber handed out those 'Deployment Survivor' blog buttons the other day, I have been mulling over the last few months trying to sort out my feelings and thoughts about Jon's deployment.
Now that he has finally returned to the States (but not to us just yet...), I feel as if I can finally start putting those words and thoughts down to 'paper' and give you all an insight into my point of view with this deployment.
I realized just this morning (although I should say, I always knew) that although I would of been just fine, I am so very THANKFUL for my family and friends. They were just there for me, whenever I needed them. Whether it was to :
*hang up my pot rock (Thanks Dave & Jill)
*help me move things in the yard (Thanks Big Timmy and Kristy)
*help me with random school activities and bring me yummy coffee (Thanks Kiki)
*Borrow their truck to haul bounce houses and beds( lots of 'in-your-space-hugs' JB and Josh)
*do some man work around the house (my AWESOME brother-in-law Cory)
*wash my van for me, watch the kids so Erin and I could do our things together and a million other what-nots (my second husband Perry - you made my day!)
*make me laugh (Love you sis!)
*let me just relax and not WORRY (I love you Mom and Dad) and
*be that ROCK that helps me get through it all (you know I'm talking about you Sugar!)
This is just a small drop in the bucket of instances and people that contributed to the overall success of the Hammie Family making it through this deployment safe and sound. If I know you, know that I am overwhelmed with the unwavering support that you have gifted our way. (Showing us the love - like my brother Kurtiss, and my BFF Tara, and my friends from all over the country and the rest of Jon and I's extended family...to putting together a 'Feed Our Troops luncheon like Jessica and Heather, just to name a few...) Without any of this, I shudder to think how we would of made it. I am so very THANKFUL to everyone who has touched my life in this year and I feel so very BLESSED to be a part of everyone's lives here.
When you first say 'See you later' to your husband as he leaves, the emotions are just overwhelming! You spend the day wandering the house, wondering what to do next. As you come across a shirt of his that you pull from the dryer, you get teary eyed with the intensity of feelings you have. It's all a hot mix of sadness, loneliness and thoughts along the lines of '9 months seems so far away'...
Gratefully weeks pass by and with it, a schedule or routine is set. Not to mention little milestones.
I loved those milestones.
As each one passed, I'd check that off the list and declare we're one moment closer to Daddy coming home! It started with my return trip from San Diego to visit Jon before he left....then onto Valentine's Day...then the start of Jack's baseball...then Easter...saying goodbye to Gia....going to see David Gray in concert....Erin moving....Mom and Dad coming out for a visit....the last Gourmet Club luncheon of the year...having my pin up pictures done...my brother visiting...last day of school...helping my sister move....a month long vacay in Michigan...coming home from Michigan....kids starting school....and then....it's September! And only a few short days until Jon's transferred to a different base to wait for a flight out of the 'Sand Box'.
Now he's made it onto American soil but it's still a waiting game for us. Since Jon was attached with the battalion out of Camp Pendleton (CA), he's got to do detachment briefs, paper work and other random nonsense that keeps him away from his family a few days longer then the rest of his battalion.
There's so much stuff that's been in between his leaving in January to now, that I don't know how the both of us are going to get it all in.
Then there's that anxiety of his return. Silly random thoughts that keep passing through my head. What if he thinks I didn't keep the house clean enough? What if I can't get this garage cleaned up? What if he's mad that I didn't save as much money as I should of? What if he thinks I got fat? What if he doesn't like the color yellow I painted the kitchen? Will he like the fence I put around the deck? Will he be mad when I still want to be in charge of all the money and pay the bills? And a million more random garbage that floats through my brain every moment of these last few days.
I know that at first we'll be so happy to see each other and we'll be in our own blissful bubble of love, family and happiness. But what I'm worried about is, am I gonna freak out when I have to pick his underwear up off the bathroom floor? Or his gear that is probably covered in sand that will be all over the garage and house? Are we gonna be awkward with each other? Or just jump right back into the way it was?
Oh I know it'll all work itself out, and I am honestly not that paranoid about it. In fact, according to the mass emails I get from the Family Readiness Officer about adjusting your loved one back to the 'real world' - I'm normal. Well...as normal as someone with the nickname 'Sparkles' can be anyways.
In a few short days, my slimmed down, bald headed man will be home! Our family is bristling with excitement. I'm planning on having a 'Welcome Home' party for him (really, any excuse to get all of us friends together is fine by me!) and then I've also made arrangements for Jon and I to head down to this fantastic Bed & Breakfast in Wilmington for romantic weekend getaway. I can't wait! So many more milestones to check off that never ending list.
It's a list that I am so thankful includes my husband again....